


Nothing Personal

by Persiflage



Series: AoS Alternate Endings [12]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Nightmares, Older Man/Younger Woman, POV Phil Coulson, Phil Needs a Hug, Running Away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 12:03:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3326615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persiflage/pseuds/Persiflage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skye helps Coulson deal with his Project TAHITI discovery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Personal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RowboatCop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowboatCop/gifts), [Skyepilot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/gifts).



> I confess, this fic was specifically inspired by photos of Clark Gregg from 'The Road to Christmas' - the scruffy beard does things to me.

Coulson registers the sound of the scooter approaching, but he's too intent on getting the engine running again to look up.

But when a familiar voice asks, "Hey mister, need a hand?" he jerks his head up, banging it on the raised hood, then stares at Skye, who, despite her cheery tone, has a very serious expression on her face as she looks him over. He wonders what she sees – not the smooth, well-dressed agent she's used to seeing, that's for sure since he's wearing boots, jeans, a t-shirt, a thick sweater, and a plaid lumberjack jacket. Not only that but he hasn't shaved since they last saw each other.

"Skye," he says, and the taste of her name in his mouth again makes him want to cry.

Her face breaks into a smile, and she climbs off the scooter, pulling off her helmet and shaking her hair loose. He thinks she's a vision of gorgeousness, and he realises how much he's missed her these last few days.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, and sees a flash of hurt in her eyes, which is gone a moment later.

"Looking for you," she tells him in an isn't-it-obvious tone, which he supposes it is.

"But how did you find me?" He's pleased to see her, of course he is, and she looks okay – better than he does, truth be told.

Skye snorts. "Please, Phil," she says, and it startles him how much he likes hearing her call him 'Phil'. "You have _a lot_ to learn about going off the grid. The first thing being: do NOT draw attention to yourself – particularly by playing the big damn hero when two armed guys try to rob an all-night grocery store."

She's standing right beside him now, and she rests her hand lightly on his forearm as she looks intently into his face. Her dark eyes seems to be sparkling with amusement, and he can see a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Honestly, Phil," she says with a sigh, then leans in and places her lips at the corner of his mouth. "Taking off before the cops arrive is hardly gonna help if you don't remember to take care of the security camera footage too." She leans into him, and he carefully snakes an arm around her despite his greasy hands.

"Maybe I hoped you'd find me," he whispers, and presses his lips to her temple.

"Mm." She shifts, then places her lips on his. "My hero," she says, her voice as soft as his. She kisses him and he eagerly opens his mouth under hers. He wishes he didn't have grease-covered hands at the moment because then he could pull her body tight against his while kissing her as if his world hadn't shattered into a thousand tiny pieces ten days ago.

 _But it did,_ he thinks, and he pulls back, ignoring Skye's soft moan of disappointment at the loss of contact. He feels a sudden panic as it occurs to him that this could be a set up – Skye could be distracting him before someone, he's not sure who exactly given SHIELD is no more, swoops in and carries him off to eternal punishment and retribution.

It's obvious Skye sees something of his fears in his face because her expression hardens and she steps back, folding her arms across her chest, suddenly reminding him of May.

He swallows, aware that he's about to hurt her, but unable not to ask. "Who knows you're here?"

"No one, Coulson," she says, her tone biting, and it's less her tone than the fact she's reverted to calling him 'Coulson', that tells him she's mightily pissed off with him. "Unlike some people, I don't betray my friends' trust."

"What do you mean?" he asks, aware his tone is too defensive. 

She glares at him. "You promised me, that night at the motel after you rescued me, that we'd get Ward. And the next morning you were gone – and your bed hadn't been slept in, so you'd obviously been gone all night. The team waited all day for you to show up again, so you could tell us what we were going to do to stop Ward and Garrett, but you didn't. In the end, May told us that you'd had some bad news the night before, and that she thought you'd probably left because of it."

He swallows at the hurt and disappointment in her eyes, and realises bitterly that he's yet another person in the long list of people who've let Skye down, and he could kick himself for not thinking of that before he bolted that night.

"How are the others?" he asks.

She shrugs. "FitzSimmons and Trip have joined Stark Industries. May arranged it through Maria Hill."

"You didn't want to go with them?" he asks, certain she hadn't even considered it – Skye has no use for big corporations, even one run by Iron Man. 

"Coulson, please," she says, clearly offended by the idea.

"What about May?" he asks.

Skye shakes her head. "I've no idea where she's gone. She left as soon as FitzSimmons and Trip had gone. She gave me a thumb drive before she left – said it'd explain why you'd gone."

"Oh." He can't help wincing at the knowledge that Skye's now aware of what an awful human being he is. He swallows. "If you've watched that video, you'll understand why I walked," he says, his tone harsher than he'd intended. "What I don't understand is why you've come after me."

"Then you're an idiot," she says sharply.

"Skye!" He stares at her, baffled by her actions – she'd seemed genuinely pleased to see him when she'd arrived, and proud of him when she'd kissed him – but he can't figure out why she'd feel either of those things knowing he was the person in charge of Project TAHITI.

"It's getting dark and cold, and I've been on the road for a long time to catch up with you," she says, surprising him by the change of subject, and her softer tone. "Let's get this thing of yours back on the road, and find somewhere we can talk more comfortably."

He nods, hoping she can't tell that he feels like crying at the thought she still wants to talk to him.

AC-S-AC-S-AC

An hour later they pull into an anonymous small town that Coulson's never heard of, and park outside the one and only motel.

"I'll go and organise our accommodation," she tells Coulson when he opens his door. "I'm not sure they'd let you inside with you looking like a cross between a hobo and a grease monkey."

He nods, then watches as she strides off to the reception. She has a confident, purposeful air, and seems as unfazed by this situation as by anything else life with SHIELD has thrown at her – although he knows that she takes things a lot more to heart than she usually lets on. As he watches her go, he realises that he's hopelessly in love with her, something he's been trying to deny to himself since – well, day one, probably – certainly since she rescued him from Raina. But he knows, despite kissing her earlier, he can't tell her how he feels: Skye deserves so much better than him.

She returns in a few minutes, and he climbs from the cab of the camper van, then pulls his bag from behind the driver's seat before passing Skye her backpack. She leads the way across the parking lot.

"I got just the one room," she tells him as she opens the door.

"That's okay," he says quickly. "I can sleep in my van once we've talked."

She ignores that remark and steps into the room, hitting the light switch before crossing the room to put her backpack on the bed near the window.

"Why don't I order room service while you get properly cleaned up?" she suggests.

He nods, dropping his bag onto the other bed, and pulling out some clean clothes and his toiletries, before he heads towards the ensuite bathroom.

"What do you want to eat?" she asks before he disappears inside.

"Whatever you're having," he tells her. While he's hungry, he doesn't really care what he eats tonight. His emotions are in turmoil, just like they were after he watched his video resignation the other night. Food feels like a distraction, even if it is a necessity.

He takes his time over showering, enjoying the sensation of hot water on his skin, then the feeling of being properly clean for the first time since before he bolted.

He doesn't shave, deciding he'd rather retain that thin attempt at a disguise. Once he's clean and dressed again, he gives himself a moment to mentally gird his loins, then goes to face Skye.

He finds her sitting at a low table by the window, two covered trays of food set out waiting for them. She isn't eating as she has her laptop balanced on her knees, and he swallows down a prickle of fear that she's reporting on his whereabouts. He hates himself for thinking this way, for giving even one second's thought to the idea that Skye's somehow going to betray him, but apparently the last ten days on his own, and the revelation that he used to head up the very project that had brought him back from the dead, has triggered paranoia. 

Luckily he has his fears back under control by the time Skye looks up as he reaches the table.

She raises an eyebrow, then bites her bottom lip, and he quickly asks "What's wrong?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing. I mean, I guess I was expecting you to shave."

He frowns. "You don't like the beard, then?" He realises this is a stupid conversation to be having, after everything that's happened, but he feels in need of a distraction before the conversation gets heavy.

"No, actually I do." She smirks. "It makes you look sexier, actually, especially now that you've ditched that lumberjack coat."

He feels the tips of his ears begin to burn and ducks his head, before sitting in the other chair. "Something smells good."

She nods. "I ordered us steak and fries, and a side salad for you."

"Thank you." He reaches for the cover on the plate and swallows down a moan when he sees the generous portions. "It looks good," he acknowledges.

He grabs his cutlery as Skye nods, then they begin to eat. There are bottles of beer on the window ledge, he notices, and she passes him one before taking one for herself.

They eat in silence, not that it takes either of them long to finish their food. Once the food's finished, Coulson stacks their empty plates onto the trays, then puts them outside their door. When he returns to his seat, he asks, "Where do you want to start?"

"Why did you leave without saying a word to anyone?" she asks, and he senses she's holding annoyance in check.

"I didn't think you'd want anything to do with a man who'd tortured people on a daily basis," he tells her.

"And it didn't occur to you to ask first?" she demands.

He shakes his head. "I couldn't face telling you," he tells her. "I knew how angry and disappointed you'd be. Bad enough that May knew."

"See, that's where you're an idiot," she says, her manner calm, but her eyes betraying her anger.

He can't help feeling that it might be better if shouted at him, or hit him, even. "Why am I an idiot?" he asks.

"Because you think we'll hate you for what you did, but you had the exact same thing done to you – and without your consent. Fury used the Guest Host stuff on you and brought you back to life, and then altered your memories so you'd never remember anything about it, or that you'd actually died. He took away your agency, Coulson, and that makes me _so_ angry." She takes a deep breath, then adds, "If I believed in karma, I'd say you'd got your just desserts. As it is, I'd like to have more than a few words with Director Fury, and if he wasn't dead, I'd insist you take me to see him."

Coulson thinks it's just as well Skye doesn't know that Fury's death was faked.

She reaches across the table to cover his hand with hers. "We're in the dark together, remember?" she asks in a low voice, and he nods, swallowing down his relief that she still wants to spend time with him. He's quite sure he's done nothing to deserve Skye's loyalty.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," he tells her softly.

She raises an eyebrow. "You've been without me for the last ten days," she points out. "During which time you grew a sexy beard, dressed like a hobo, and saved a young woman from two armed robbers."

He chokes, unsure whether to laugh or cry, and Skye gets to her feet, then moves around the table to grab both of his hands in hers. She tugs, and he gets to his feet, unsure what's going to happen next. "I think you should get some sleep," she tells him, slipping her arms around him. "You look like you haven't slept properly since – well, I don't know when."

"Not since before HYDRA's big reveal," he tells her, realising that he really is exhausted. He pulls back from her, then presses a kiss to her forehead. "Thanks for coming to find me." 

He starts towards the door, but Skye catches hold of his wrist, and he stops, looking down in puzzlement at her hand wrapped around his wrist.

"You might as well sleep here tonight," she says. "There are two perfectly good beds in this room, after all." She wraps her hand around his elbow. "Don't worry, AC, I'll watch your back."

He looks from her to the bed, then back again, and she gives a quick nod, as if she knows exactly how much he wants to stay here instead of going back out to sleep in his camper van.

"Thanks." He goes over to the bed and sits down to take off his boots.

"I'm going to use the bathroom," she tells him and he nods, then resumes his attempts to remove his boots.

Getting ready for bed seems to tax Coulson's remaining strength, and once he's in his pyjama pants and t-shirt, he crawls under the covers. He doesn't hear Skye come out of the bathroom before he's fast asleep.

AC-S-AC-S-AC

Coulson wakes a few hours later to the sound of someone in distress and it takes him an embarrassingly long time to realise he's the one who's been begging someone to let him die.

As he registers that fact he also becomes aware of a hand rubbing up and down his forearm, from wrist to elbow, in a steady, comforting stroke. His panic recedes as he recalls that he's sharing a room with Skye.

He reaches over with his free hand and clasps the wrist of her hand as it slides up his arm. 

"Are you okay?" she asks out of the darkness, and he realises that she's kneeling on the floor beside his bed.

"Yeah," he says, then immediately corrects himself. "No, not really."

"Do you – " He hears her swallow, then she asks, "Would a hug help?"

"Yeah."

She climbs up onto the bed behind him as he lies on his right side, and he rolls over to face her instead. "C'mere," she says, and eases her arms around him.

"I think that must've been a really bad nightmare," she says quietly. "It was nearly ten minutes before I was able to wake you."

"I'm sorry," he says, feeling guilty for landing this crap on Skye's shoulders.

"God, Coulson, don't ever apologise for having nightmares." Her arms tighten around him and she begins stroking her hand lightly up and down his back. "Between dying, being brought back, having your memories messed with, being tortured by Raina in hopes of recovering those memories, and then discovering the organisation to which you literally gave your life was full of Nazi-loving scum, it's a wonder you're not having a nervous breakdown."

He chuckles weakly. "Actually, I think maybe I am."

Her hands still on his back, then she breathes out an "Oh" before kissing him. It's just a brief brush of her lips on his, but it's enough to awaken his libido, and he can't summon up the willpower to stop himself from kissing her back, though his kiss is more than just a brush of his lips. In fact, it would be safer to say that his kiss is hungry and desperate, until Skye eases away from him. 

"Slow down, Coulson," she says softly, resuming her slow strokes up and down his back. "There's no rush."

"I'm sorry. God, Skye, I am _so_ sorry." His voice cracks on the words, and she hushes him, her hands warm and steady as they rub up and down his arms, over his shoulders, then up and down his back.

"You don't have to keep apologising," she says.

"I'm a mess," he tells her, as if she hadn't worked that one out already.

"It's okay, Phil. I can relate." She kisses his forehead, then brushes her lips over his again, like before.

"You keep doing that," he observes.

"Don't you like me doing that? Because I'll stop if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I just thought – " She breaks off, then mutters, "I wanted you to feel loved. Like someone is here to take care of you."

Coulson tightens his arms around her. "I don't want you to stop," he reassures her. "And I do feel loved. I'm not sure that I deserve that, though, after all the things I've done."

"Well hard luck, mister," she says, her voice stronger. "Whether or not you deserve it, it's too late. I love you. So you'll just have to deal."

Though he doesn't mean to cry, Coulson feels tears slide down his face, and Skye immediately thumbs them away, reminding him of when he'd done the same thing for her, once a long time ago.

"It's okay, AC, I've got you."

She lets him cry, and to his relief it doesn't last long. But while it does, she strokes his back and his shoulders, nuzzles her face into his neck, and generally soothes and reassures him until, once his tears are done, he feels like a rag – limp and wrung out.

"Try to get some more sleep," she suggests, and he murmurs agreement, too exhausted to try to stay awake any longer. 

"Will you stay with me, please?"

"I'll stay," she promises. "Sleep."

"Thanks."

AC-S-AC-S-AC

There are no more nightmares that night, and Coulson wakes the next morning feeling more rested than at any point since May showed him that video. He feels safe too – Skye is spooning him, one hand pressed over his heart, and the other arm wrapped around his waist.

He is also, he realises, embarrassingly hard, and he wonders if he can slip out of bed before she wakes, but that thought's barely crossed his mind before he feels her stirring behind him.

"Morning AC." Her greeting is uttered in a low, raspy voice, and he's trying to get his own voice to work when Skye's breasts press more firmly into his back, and after a moment he realises that she's stretching herself while still holding onto him. He tries not to moan too loudly as he cock reacts in the usual fashion.

He hears a soft chuckle from behind him, and he rolls onto his back, determined to scold her for laughing at his predicament, but before he can speak, she does.

"Fuck, Phil. I had no idea." She's staring at the tent in his boxers, and he can see she appreciates the sight of his cock straining against the cotton.

He shifts onto his side so he can lean in and kiss her, and she moans into his mouth, then urges him to move his body over hers.

"I'm not sure this is a good idea," he tells her.

"No, it's a great idea," she says, her tone sincere. "I want you to feel there's more to life than SHIELD broken up by HYDRA." She kisses him, then adds, "I want you to feel. Is that such a bad idea?"

"No." He can't say it is, and he can't pretend that he's never thought about this, that he has _wanted_ this so often over the last few months. All their flirting and innuendo was for no other reason than that he wanted her to know he found her desirable.

She cups him through his boxers and he moans, then again when she eases his cock free and slides her hand down his length.

"Wait," he says breathlessly, then pulls away to drag off his boxers, before undressing Skye.

He stares at her naked form, then whispers, "You are so gorgeous." He settles himself over her and she pulls his head down to kiss him.

He eases inside her and she groans his name, then wraps her legs around him and tugs, doing her best to pull him all the way inside at once, and it's Coulson's turn to groan her name as her slick heat engulfs him.

"Oh god," he mutters. "I'm going to last less than five minutes."

Skye smirks at him. "Better make it good then, AC."

"Witch!"

She giggles, then gasps as he begins to thrust. "Oh god, Phil. I might not last that long either."

He smirks at her, pleased to hear her say so, and he reaches down between their bodies, his fingers seeking and finding her clit.

"Let me," she says breathlessly. "You concentrate on – Oh!" She stares up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes as an orgasm hits her, and he chuckles at her obvious surprise.

"Fuck Phil, how'd you do that?" she demands once she's caught her breath.

He smirks. "Experience – and practice."

"God."

He continues to thrust, pushing deeper as he feels his own orgasm is imminent. "I'm close," he tells her. "Do you want me to withdraw?"

She shakes her head. "No. I'm protected."

He nods, then picks up his pace, wondering if he can get Skye off a second time before he comes, but then it's too late.

He groans and buries his face in the pillow beside her head as he feels the final spurts empty into her.

"Sorry," he whispers. "I haven't done this in a long time."

She rubs the back of his neck soothingly. "It's okay, Phil. I still enjoyed it." She kisses the side of his head. "The fact that it was you – the fact that _you_ wanted to do this with me made it good, even if it was over quickly."

He lifts his head and kisses her tenderly, then slides his arms under her and rolls them over. "I've wanted to do this for a long time," he says, and she gives him a big, beaming smile.

"I've had a crush on you since day one," she says in a confiding tone. "When you used the truth serum on Ward. And you flirting with me so often didn't help with that."

"I seem to recall you flirted right back," he says, eyebrows raised. "Who was it who dared to ask if Reyes and I had 'done it back in the day', and who was it told me to 'slide on in' to the SUV?"

She chuckles. "Okay, guilty as charged for flirting back."

So now you know," he tells her, "that this isn't just a one-off, and it's not just a comfort thing because my life suddenly fell apart. If you want this as well, then we'll make it official. Not that there's any SHIELD to make it official for, but – " He gives her an enquiring look, and she kisses him very hard, and very thoroughly. 

"If that's too non-verbal for you, then yeah Phil, I want this. I want us to be together. I want you to have my back, and I'll have yours. And the first thing we have to do is stop Ward and Garrett."

"God, I love bossy women," he mutters, then glares as Skye giggles.

"Maybe you shouldn't have told me that just yet?" she suggests.

"No, I shouldn't."

"Too late now," she teases, then shrieks a little when he begins tickling her. "Coulson!"

He smirks, then sits up, wrapping his arms around her. "I love you, Skye."

She's breathless from laughing, but her eyes widen and she blinks rapidly, and he realises she's close to tears. "I love you too, Phil." She leans in and kisses him tenderly, and he feels as if his heart might burst from sheer joy. Yesterday he'd been convinced his world had ended, today he knows it's not, and he thinks that he may not be having a nervous breakdown after all, or if he was, then this gorgeous young woman in his arms has cured it.

He knows that stopping Ward and Garrett isn't going to be easy, and they may not survive the attempt, but he also knows they have to try, and if he and Skye have to do it without the rest of their team, at least neither one of them will be doing it alone – and that is as great a gift as he's ever been given.

"We'd better get dressed, have some breakfast, and get on the road," he tells her. "There's work to do."

She grins at him, then kisses him very thoroughly. "I'm ready when you are, AC."

"Good."


End file.
